Aussie education fair - Accomplished.

On saturday, Kate and I went to KL Convention center to check out the Australian Education fair. It was fun, got to talk to a few of people regarding my plans to do masters. don't want to get all excited about it. takot sat lagi tak jadi. tu pun mak & ayah still nak consider UK or Aussie. so we will see. my weekend was quite fun, saturday night, went to mat's house for BBQ (mat's sister's convo + post raya + abg's birthday surprise) and the next day went to delicious, bangsar for lunch with kate, mum and her friends. the food was delish, as always! I like! Had the strawberry and meringue, its damn nice! after walking around for a bit, asked mum to buy me something, send kate home, and went back home. dooze off in mum's room. and now i can't sleep! aargh! thank God class is at 12pm today. I think I should try and get some shut eye. Toodles!

despise

seriously. im no body to you. why should i even bother to be around you. im not part of your world, and never have been. you don't even care if im not there. i'd said this before, remember when you didn't invite me, i was devastated. but i change my mind. seriously. no need to invite me anymore. its not healthy for me to be around in your world. i don't even belong there. im just someone you know. i am nothing to you. im like a piece of rock, sitting there, quietly, staring at everyone around me, trying to find a way to voice out against those noises. the only sound that came out of me, is when provoked. you're there, not knowing anything about me. i hate you for that. i should have avoid this years ago, but im trying my best to slip away slowly, no one will ever notice that im gone. i promise you that. you and your world and its time for me to live in mine.

:(

happy!

OMG!

I'm officially an aunt.

I'm so happy!

Alhamdulillah.

Congrats abang & fatin!

hujan

damn it. dah la tengah sedih-sedih, hujan lebat pulak! tak perlu la nak tambah kesedihan kan

:(

anyway, before i forget,

mum,

happy birthday!

jangan cepat melatah, bukan besar kepala, tapi nak pancing reaksi.

in my shoes, just to see
what it's like, to be me
i'll be you, let's trade shoes
just to see what it'd be like to
feel your pain, you feel mine
go inside each other's minds
just to see what we find
looking shit through each other's eyes

I just hide behind the tears of a clown.

aku patutnya bergembira. tapi aku rasa sebaliknya. what ever i do, i can never be good enough for myself. bodoh! tak perlu la aku nak nangis sekarang. buang masa naimah! takde orang kesah! Kelakar bila orang cepat melatah, dan secara tidak sengaja jawapan jujur diterima. Funny. (melatah di sini, bukan dicucuk atau dikejutkan) ahh. dengan reaksi tu, aku dah dapat tau aku ni memang tak cukup bagus untuk apa-apa. i can never be good enough. im a big disappointment to myself, my family and my friends. kadang-kadang aku tanya pada Tuhan kenapa aku jadi begini. aku tak tuduh sesiapa, sebab aku tau, semua benda yang jadi pada diri aku ni, semua dah tertulis and i know things happen for a reason. tapi kenapa aku rasa sangat shitty. i need someone to pull me out from this freaking shit! semua orang selalu pandang rendah kat aku, sebab tu susah untuk aku cakap "i believe in myself" memang susah. dari dulu, sampai sekarang. trust me, aku pun tak tau macam mana aku boleh sampai kat mana aku sekarang. kalau orang tak jujur percaya pada aku, macam mana la aku nak percaya diri sendiri. argh! malasnya nak layan perasaan ni. happiness please come back!!!! i should be happy, i don't want to cry anymore.

before i was sad and depressed, pouty always. there was a smile on my face, even though it might be fake. could've ended my life but i stayed strong, and prayed for a better day. i just wish joy and happiness would never stray, so that sorrow would go away.

byebye sorrowness, hello happiness!

shocked

the house alarm triggered just now.

terkejut sebentar.

dalam diam, ikot ayah turun.

ayah pegang kayu golf, aku pegang parang buatan sarawak.

rasa macam ...

nak perang

kelakar pun ada

damn it

tak ada apa-apa.

haziq go die

I HATE HAZIQ!


tolong jangan tanya kenapa? sakit hati sangat!

family gath

Kak la & family, abg remy & family, abang, fatin and maktok was here yesterday. ada makan-makan sikit. jumpa keita, cute sangat "minum, minum, minum". *ehhehe*

Congrats Epah & Sham!

Nikah 26092009

At about 3.05 pm on 26.09.2009, Alifah, or better known as Epah, was offcially married to Shamhan. She is the first ‘AKU’ to get married. I’m so happy for her. Congrats to both of you. We had fun in Kuching. It was fun traveling with my friends. We stayed at Tune Hotel. Not bad for a 4 days and 3 nights. Only cost me and anem, RM250. We also rented a car, easier for us to move around. We helped Epah with the wedding and had the opportunity to pusing-pusing in Kuching. It was fun except the part where I had to naik the penambang. It was the worst 30 seconds and 1 minute of my life. I felt like vomiting. Anyway, I survived as I’m still here today and updating this blog. Thank God for that. There will be another reception for Sham’s side this Sunday at Dewan Perdana Felda. I can’t wait, if I can still remember, Epah said there will be tapai for dessert. *yummy! LOL* So, one down, 3 more to go. I wonder who is next in line. Anyway, CONGRATS AGAIN EPAH & SHAM. Semoga berbahagia selamanya! Love Love!

"Disatukan jiwa, bersama merasa"