aku malu

Aku malu,

Kau tak kan paham kenapa,

Aku malu,

Kau boleh cakap senang sebab kau tak tahu kenapa,

Aku malu,

Kau tak akan tahu kenapa,

Aku malu,

Kau tak dapat rasa apa yang aku rasa sebab tu,

Aku malu,

Perkara yang berlaku, sebelum dan sekarang buat,

Aku malu,

Susah nak bagitahu macam mana,

Aku malu,

Nak bagi kau paham kenapa,

Aku malu,

Pun susah, sebab tu,

Aku malu,

Tolong lah paham!

Aku ni pemalu.

pergi

mahu pergi jauh

dan

tak kembali!

hari ni sekali lagi, aku rasa shitty gila.

kenapa Tuhan tak ragut jer nyawa aku?

kan senang?

tak perlu nak menyusahkan orang lain.

benci nya keadaan ni.

aku mahu pergi jauh!

dan

tidak mahu kembali!

jangan terkejut,

kalau aku tiba-tiba 'M.I.A' satu hari nanti.

bila?

kita nanti kan lah.

memang aku keras kepala.

kalau aku nak,

aku angkat kaki jer, terus pergi.

jangan lah masa tu cuba nak cari.

memang aku tak kan layan.

sorry!

tu jer aku boleh cakap.

truth

the truth is out there.

*hehhe*

nak tergelak, sebab semua rahsia dah dibongkarkan.

aku tahu!

siapa kamu!

pergi mati cepat!

Bilik Ahmad Berdaki

I went to KLPac with Charlie & Mamet for 'Bilik Ahmad Berdaki' play. it was good. very sensual. *LOL* told mamet, the play makes me horny. *ahhahah* I had a good time! food doesn't suck that bad anymore! anyway (charlie is not going to like this) *ehhehe* cannot lupa that person who said "good night" :)

P/s: on my way back, i found my song. its by Splender (not spender) - i think god can explain.

There's a lot of things I understand,
and there's a lot of things,
That I don't want to know.

But you're the only face,
I recognize, It's so damn sweet of you,
to look me in the eyes.

It's all right, I'm O.K.,
I think God can explain,
I believe I’m the same,
I get carried away
It's alright, I'm O.K.,
I think God can explain
I'm relieved, I'm relaxed,
I'll get over it yet.

The scent of vaseline,
in the summertime,
the feel of an ice cube,
melting over time,
Well the world seems bigger than both of us,
yet it seems so small,
when I begin to cry.

It's all right, I'm O.K.,
I think God can explain,
I believe I’m the same,
I get carried away
It's alright, I'm O.K.,
I think God can explain
I'm relieved, I'm relaxed,
I'll get over it yet,

It's all right, I'm O.K.,
I think God can explain,
I believe I’m the same,
I get carried away
It's alright, I'm O.K.,
I think God can explain
I'm relieved, I'm relaxed,
I'll get off of your back,

I think God can explain.
I think God can explain.
I think God can explain.

Touch 'n Go

okay seriously, i didn't know the card 'touch 'n go can pay for food as well. i only thought for toll and parking. hebat hebat! banyak pulak tu, so kalau tak ada duit, guna touch and go sudah. *LMAO!*

hi!

hi!

its me again.

another entry.

by,

yours truly.

tolong bawa aku pergi jauh dari sini!

its going to be another long night.

BENCI!

wow

wow!

i manage to update 6 entries in one day.

funny!

normally, only once a month.

taniah!

no idea

met kate just now, had sushi. *ehehe* sushi king blacked out. funny! but we stayed on while other customers decided to ditch sushi king. i couldn't really eat, lost my appetite. every time i try to swallow something, its like swallowing death. sangat tertekan. memang tak lalu, rasa bila telan something tu susah sangat! but i was quite happy to get my toffee nut frappucino, my favourite drink only available during this time of the year. Argh! anyway perasaan ini sangat shitty. i hate this feeling. why should i even bother about this stupid feeling? i want to go somewhere. i should get out of the house. but where to? shht! i can't even shed a tear. stupid me. i think i need to cry now. make me cry!

trouble sleeping

i tried to get some sleep around 7 something this morning. it was terrible. every time i tried to shut my eyes, his images pops up. i twist and turn, on the tv. still nothing happen. tried to think of happy thoughts. *kapeesh* nothing. still can't sleep. then i remembered dr.subra told us in the class, to have a good sleep is to chant mantra, so what i did was, i started to chant my own way of mantra, which is surah-surah from the Quran. i felt at peace and i didn't even realize that i'd fallen asleep.

grrr!

its the most longest and horrible night ever. i can't sleep. i can't even shut my eyes. though i'd deleted most of him, but the memories of him kept running through my mind. its only 3 years of memories, come on. not even 10. i'll survive this. "he is nothing to you. you dumped him, remember?" keep telling myself this. but still i can't sleep! shht! i think i need like sleeping pills or something, so that i can sleep peacefully. please please please! or better yet, do something to keep my mind occupied. thats right. okay im going to play games on facebook now! toodles!

Glad

im glad its over. i feel so relief. don't worry.

im okay.

thanks for your concern.

it has been a roller coaster ride. im glad its over.

the funny thing is, im not sad at all. im happy!

will i shed my tears again?

burn MF burn!

you're in my burn book! don't worry : )

aku benci opportunist!

pergi mampos.

sekian terima kasih.