Jumping On A Bandwagon!

Joyful January!

2012-01-28T04:03:00.001Z

Happy January everybody!

Boredom strikes

2012-01-28T04:01:00.001Z

When boredom strikes

20012012

2012-01-20T23:38:00.001Z

Lambat 20 hari.Happy new year! Hello 2012! Goodbye 2011!

sakit di perantauan

2011-11-30T11:19:00.001Z

its official.

First time sakit di perantauan.

Period + fever + flu + cough : not a good combination

I hate being sick.

-______-

Back to the Cambs

2011-11-28T17:15:00.001Z

I'm back in Cambs.

I miss Farah already.

Can't wait for Mum to come in two weeks time.

Cepat lah sikit!

Crap! I'm late for class.

Later~

Happy anniversary!

2011-11-14T23:54:00.001Z

Its my parent's 30th anniversary today

(15.11.11)

Miss them always.

Happy anniversary mum and dad!

Love you both always!

2011 SPM Candidates

2011-11-13T23:34:00.001Z

To all 2011, SPM Candidates,

and to my cousin Ayumi-chan,

GOOD LUCK!

Yakusoku

2011-11-13T02:07:00.005Z

Tup tap tup tap!

Dah 3 bulan di perantauan.

First time living abroad on my own.

It's great.

But I really miss everyone.

Cepat betul masa berlalu.

Sometimes I cannot believe I'm already here.

3 bulan.

Now it's autumn,

The weather is very cold.

Daun-daun dah mula luruh.

Cantik! Tapi suram.

Sudah lah, sampai sini saja.

Dah meluat dengan keypad iPad ni.

I promise to update this blog as often as possible.

InsyaAllah.

Okay meluat sungguh dengan keypad ni.

-____-

P/s: RINDU!!!!!!

Critical enough?

2011-04-28T21:29:00.000+01:00

0415 - can't sleep. its raining cats and dogs. Bored.

According to, *i forgot where I read this thing* if a person have intellectual skills alone, without intellectual traits, the aftermath will be weak sense in critical thinking. Clever but manipulative.
I need intellectual traits like reasonable, sympathy, determination, honesty, courage, independence and believe in myself. If I ignore any of traits, then I could end up with doubts, dishonesty and being exploited.

So, am I able to think critically while juggling the traits without being biased?

...

After analyzing this torment dilemma thoroughly, the answer to my own question is

Yes, I'm able to do it! I HAVE TO. Its a MUST.

Heeeee. I need some sleep. Merepek jer kan.
Sent by DiGi from my BlackBerry® Smartphone

Happy Birthday Farish!

2011-04-23T17:41:00.003+01:00

Happy 1st Birthday Muhammad Farish Azeem!

Mummy loves you!

like a stone

2011-03-11T18:30:00.000Z

MACAM BATU

Hello 2011, Goodbye 2010

2011-01-06T08:25:00.002Z

Apakah?

First entry for this year.

celebrated with the girls, played card, makan, tengok fireworks.

chill jer.

tak mabuk, tak pengsan tepi jalan.

don't worry.

New year resolution?

tunggu new year next year lah I guess.

okay gotta pack my things, going to penang in 12 hours time.

yes, pushing off at 4am,

semangat nak makan nasi pagi-pagi kat kedai kat natrah yang bukak from 7am-9am sahaja okay.

praying for no jam and smooth journey tomorrow, insyaAllah.

toodles.

aimis-yuh

2010-11-08T20:40:00.002Z

Hello there!

I miss you!

*I can not say that to your face, dummy.

Damn it, I'm shy la.

I believe in fate.

tetibe.

(bunyi cricket)

sedarhana v.s jumbo

2010-11-04T17:01:00.000Z

Hello.

Haritu pergi makan dengan kawan-kawan.
Order air.
Abg air datang bawak 3 cawan air. Satu jumbo dua sedarhana.
Abg air renung tajam dan cakap "yang jumbo ni mesti awak punya" (something like that)

Wtf?!

Masih boleh tahan dan cakap "ini kita punya" (sambil tarik air pisang sedarhana)

Balik rumah, baring atas katil sambil nangis tak berhenti sampai tertidur.

P/s: orang gemuk atau gempal hanya boleh order minuman size jumbo, kalau order size sedarhana tu dikira luar biasa? Habis tu tak kan orang kurus tak boleh minum air size jumbo kena minum air size sedarhana je?

Ikhlas tapi jauh

2010-10-22T07:43:00.002+01:00

Bila-bila kiranya diri ku perlu,
Hari yang murung,
Terdengar nada yang riang.

Selagi bahuku memikul bebannya,
Selagi hayat ku merasa siksa mu,
Selama senyuman menjadi senyumku,

Ku bawa wajah mu, walau diriku jauh.

Penang visitor - live traffic feed

2010-10-22T07:40:00.002+01:00

I wonder who read my blog all the way from penang?

Zaki ke?

Ahhahahahahahahahahaha

Dream on ema! Dream on!

Greetings from bangkok

2010-10-22T07:20:00.005+01:00

Hello! Or sawadeeka!

Finally can sit down, relax and update this blog. My parents are getting their foot massage at this moment. Me? Well chillexing on a comfy chair. Done with shopping, continue later. I have another 2 days to go. Im quite upset since i got to know that kate will undergo the operation on monday. Pity her. I know she will be okay. Can't believe she has to go through that but its for her own good and her health. Im praying for her safety. I'll come and see you babe. I don't know why im crying la right now. Sedih la. Demmit. Big hug for you dear, be strong kay! Love u! See you when i get back and by then you'll be okay, insyaAllah. Love u babe!

Some updates;
- weather is quite hot.
- food is great like always. I love their fried cat fish. Coffee dekat tepi jalan pun sedap jugak! Tak payah pegi starbucks.
- bought some stuff and more to come.
- flood at some parts of bangkok near the chao praya river. I hope we won't be affected.
- tomorrow ayah is off to conference, just me and my mum. Apa lagi, kikis duit dia.

As for now, chan kit thueng khun.

could this not last forever

2010-09-30T08:31:00.002+01:00

its just a phase

yeah, its just a phase

the Happy Bee

2010-09-28T06:30:00.000+01:00

Happy birthday Aizah & Dalila!

take your hand, and walk away

2010-09-25T02:32:00.004+01:00

such a lonely day,

should be banned,

it's a day that i can't stand,

such a lonely day,

shouldn't exist,

it's a day that i'll never miss.

such a lonely day,

and it's mine,

it's a day that i'm glad i survived.

soad - lonely day

rain part 2.

2010-09-17T03:52:00.003+01:00

sekarang adalah masa yang sangat sesuai untuk jalan-jalan dalam hujan,

lebih-lebih lagi dalam keadaan yang macam shitty ni,

confirm, tak ada orang yang perasan.

confirm.

raya

2010-09-10T09:41:00.002+01:00

Selamat Hari Raya!

Maaf Zahir & Batin!

Menyusun sepuluh jari memohon kemaafan keatas segala kesalahan yang telah di lakukan.

tapi, mood raya tetap tak ada!

sigh!

party

2010-09-05T18:09:00.003+01:00

not looking forward for raya, fullstop. thee

its 1.10am, i think my neighbor (few doors away) buat party or something, kawan-kawan dia bising nak mati. gelak macam syaitan mengalahkan i. dah la buat party and bising, tak ajak pula tu!

anyway, my next door neighbor (memang sebelah) ni tak marah or complain pula since neighbor dia buat party and tak ajak tu is making so much noise. Dulu, my cat nak mengawan, marah sebab bising sangat. what do you aspect from a single mother horny cat?

stupid.

a friendly reminder to my neighbor, next time please invite your neighbors lah, where is your neighborhood spirit? i also want to scream and clap my hands loudly so that my other neighbors cannot sleep before sahur time.

disturb

2010-08-26T20:50:00.002+01:00

just moments ago, i was happily playing games on facebook, minding my own business when i realized something moved in front of me and i honestly thought it was dust but i was wrong! that-dust thingy came back and it was a freaking cockroach. pandi kutik lah! i was in shock man, i can't even scream. mouse dah kena campak, lepas tu, gua mengensot babe, how it happened, i don't really know. sampai nak terjatuh la. terpaksa kejut Normi. She simply catched the little fellow and flushed it down the toilet. gosh! and i almost kena heart attack! thanks mr.cockroach for disturbing my peace!!!

underneath the disguise of a smile, gradually im dying inside

2010-08-23T19:21:00.003+01:00

"friends ask me how i feel and i lie convincingly

cause i don't want to reveal

the fact that i'm suffering

so i wear my disguise, till i go home at night

and turn down all the lights

and then i break down and cry"

mariah carey - breakdown

Quickly

2010-07-06T18:43:00.006+01:00

I'm back!

no more jet lags.

just some quick updates;

Epah's & Sham's baby boy - Danish Aniq, 020710, 1106am.

Lilo is 1 year old *yay!*

missing my friends,

I bought a new phone with my own money, first time. *sampai berpeluh masa bayar*

I managed to splashed my hard earn two months salary on macaroons, my things, nephew's things and souvenirs.

I was able to belanja my parents makan kat sana. *phew*

after all the shopping I did when I was in London and Paris,

I went shopping again last Sunday, wth kan?

guilty!!!

luckily, Normi was cool with it, since she also wants to use the things I bought,

*sigh*

I'm going to Cameron Highlands next week, helping dad with his work again!

yay!

I guess thats all for now.

toodles!

mau tidoq!

hiatus

2010-06-16T11:22:00.002+01:00

hiatus for 2 weeks!

gonna miss everyone.

ala.

2 weeks jer.

but rindu jugak!

if only i can pack everyone with me.

sigh!

see you in 2 weeks time.

p/s: Hopefully, i'll be here before Epah delivers her baby! can't wait. more babies! yay! :)

emotionally stirred

2010-06-15T20:39:00.004+01:00

can't sleep! im done packing my stuff. less than 24 hours to go. + i can't wait to see farish in the morning! cepat lah siang!

all my bags are NOT packed BUT i'm ready to go

2010-06-14T18:30:00.004+01:00

less than 48 hours to go,

i haven't pack anything yet,

still.

die!

can someone please pack my things for me?

or better yet, pack me as well and ship me off.

: )

clearance

2010-06-08T09:02:00.003+01:00

I'm done with clearance,

its heart breaking,

sad,

indeed very sad.

it took me quite sometime to get the clearance done,

I'm just taking my time, I guess.

Anyway,

I'm in IRK lab right now,

reminiscing how me and Mamet always spend our time here after class.

*LOL*

well, thank God, I'm staying nearby,

I can swing by anytime I want.

:)

I'm going to back to Batu Gajah for my cousin's wedding this Thursday

hush hush. i might be going to Penang also, one day trip.

then back to Batu Gajah for the reception on Saturday.

Sunday back to KL

Busy busy busy!

------

8 more days to go!

I haven't pack anything yet.

die!

------

I'm just killing my time right this moment,

waiting to pick up my boss from work.

I sound so serious.

wth?

okay lah, I'm in my CW mood.

so, toodles!

untitled

2010-06-04T07:45:00.001+01:00

12 more days

: )

Legend International Water Homes

2010-05-23T08:15:00.005+01:00

My friends (Kate, Stephanie and Veronica) and I went to Port Dickson for a weekend getaway. Running away from reality. *LOL* Anyway, the journey took us about 1 hour. When we arrived in PD, we drove around to find the hotel that we wanted to stay, its called 'Legend International Water Homes'. Dang it, i forgot to snap the big logo thingy! whatever! Anyway, after that, we went back to just before Teluk Kemang and had our breakfast by the beach. The funny thing was, we forgot to bring the tikar, so no choice but to sit on the newspaper and our butts were slightly wet because of the rain. Stephanie was practically screaming because of the big ants. What la you darling! The weather was quite okay. It was as though the sun taking a short rest and giving us a break with a wonderful cooling weather. After breakfast, we checked-in into the hotel. Parking is free, which is a plus! We arrived slightly earlier than planned, but the reception guy, Calvin was kind enough to checked in earlier. As the room is quite far from the lobby, buggy service was provided for us to go to our rooms, nice! When we reached our room, everyone was screaming because the room is so nice. The room is a villa that is above the sea, can see the sea through a glass window on the floor. The swimming pool is overlooking the sea. Everything is perfect, of course, as the place was open only 6 months ago, according to Mr. Naim who drove the buggy. The shower is build with a huge window that overlooked the sea, while bathing, can open the window and hear the sound of the waves splashing. *bliss* we quickly jump into the pool (obviously change our clothes first). The bed was so comfy and we stayed in the room most of the time. We wanted to spend our time just for the room, since it is really nice. Sunset is like heaven, the view from our room was breathtaking. At night, we arranged candles all the over the pool, and we had roasted marshmallow and crackers which was of course dipped with chocolate. *yummy!* This morning, at 7am, Veronica woke me up saying its 8am. *LOL* I know she was very excited to get into the pool. So Kate and I quickly joined her. Surprisingly, the water was not that cold, it was just nice. It was sad to leave, but I know for sure that one day I'll go there again! Hopefully soon!

P/S: pictures coming soon!

weekend getaway

2010-05-23T08:03:00.002+01:00

Hello! just a quick update. weekend getaway was awesome!

one wishlist done! thanks veron for reminding me

now,

back to reality!

sigh!~

holiday!

2010-05-10T11:54:00.004+01:00

SAYA MAU PERGI HOLIDAY! PLS!

mau lepak tepi laut,

hang out by the pool

*sigh*

Suara yang nyaring

2010-05-04T18:28:00.003+01:00

I just had a long cold shower and started to think, about my voice.

Dimanakah suara aku?

suara aku tidak didengari.

di rumah? hah! bagaikan si bisu mahu bercakap.

di luar? argh! aku laung kan suara nyaring.

malangnya, tiada siapa yang mendengar,

masih gagal.

dimanakah suara aku?

Suara yang tidak mempegaruhi sesiapa.

suara si gagal,

suara tidak lunak.

suara yang nyaring.

pasti dihindari.

cuba mencari semangat untuk bersuara,

supaya suara akan diakui

tidak nyaring lagi.

AKU's day out - OU

2010-05-04T17:58:00.004+01:00

I heart them!

the boy who stole my heart

2010-04-23T04:05:00.000+01:00

3am, my brother told me that he is taking fatin to SDMC. luckily the water bag broke when fatin was in the toilet right after they reached the hospital. my parents said that i must stay at home and wait till morning. i was anxious! i couldn't sleep. i talked to garfield and prayed to God, for my sister's and the baby's health.

10am, reached SDMC, fatin was still in the labor room. abang getting nervous.

12pm, mum and i talked to the nurse, she said its about time.

1.28pm, abang called me. i got up and he said, "ema, your nephew, farish is here already". tears of joy!

Muhammad Farish - 3.72kg

the parents - Aki & Fatin!

goyang kaki?

2010-04-11T10:00:00.003+01:00

hello there! how are you? its been awhile since my last entry. im done with exams and classes for good. but guess what, i miss it already! esp my friends!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! gah! btw, im working at the moment with my parents. yes yes as a driver again but this time with salary. *yay!* well some may think its a lousy and easy job. but hey, try driving around KL and going through the traffic jams. its emotionally tiring as you have to deal with those idiots driving their car/lorry and even those bikers without considering other people. + i work hard for my money. i don't just goyang kaki or wait for someone to give me money except for my parents. it might not seem that big a deal for most people, especially those who think it's okay to live off their boyfriends money but i was raised not to expect others to take care of me. even though the money comes from my parents but i still work hard for it. anyway, the pay is quite good. wanna save the money and wanna go holiday somewhere! *heeee!* hari tu ada dengar ada graduation gift, i wonder what? *ehhehe* better be something good. im expecting my first nephew to pop out either this week or next week! i can't wait. excited aunty here!~ :)

time could never mend

2010-03-21T08:27:00.002Z

time flies very fast these days. tup tap. its at the end of the semester already. im gonna miss my friends, driving to class while blasting the songs out loud, going to classes, hang out in HS cafe, ponteng class *LOL* datang class lambat, going out with my friends, coaxing, haih!!! last Thursday was really hard for me. as i drove off from uia. can't help to cry. sedih lah!

2010-03-09T06:55:00.002Z

not that way,

i can't live without you,

can't be without you,

im begging you to stay.

please stay!

i wanted other chances to adore you,

i don't want to have to live my life in misery,

i wasn't ready for you to set me free.

*sigh*

might as well just kill me.

how can i?

2010-03-06T12:12:00.002Z

how can i love you tonight?

when you know that you love somebody else,

and i know you're not mine.

stand in front of me,

so i can see,

tell me what's on your mind,

why don't you give yourself to me,

i know i shouldn't tell you,

cause i know you're not mine.

you and me,

its not the way its supposed to be,

but i can't help myself,

how can i?

untitled

2010-02-04T17:06:00.003Z

decided to step back

give space

so that you can be happy

with your life

bye!

hey you. listen.

2010-02-04T12:53:00.002Z

heyy there,

don't you know that im alive and well.

don't you worry.

im not taken aback.

don't feel sorry about anything

im not looking for sympathy.

difficult

2010-02-04T12:47:00.002Z

take a walk i'll hold your hands for now,

its happening,

makes it hard to lose another night,

its difficult, to soothe a wounded heart.

before you go, give me all of your love,

i'll give you all of mine

i'll drink water because my blood has died,

its different than anything you've seen or heard before.

take a picture and hold that smile forever.

if it makes it easier,

wish it could be easier,

i can't breathe in.

perasaan cilanat part 2

2010-02-04T12:23:00.002Z

boleh tolong pergi jauh-jauh?

aku tak ada mood la nak main game ni.

game lagi satu pun tak habis-habis lagi.

ni,

ish!

perasaan,

please, listen to me,

berambus cepat!!!

betul ke ni?

2010-02-04T12:13:00.002Z

Never Knew I Needed - Ne-Yo

For the way you changed my plans
for being the perfect distraction
for the way you took the idea that i have
of everything that i wanted to have
and made me see there was something missing
for the ending of my first begin
and for the rare and unexpected friend
for the way you’re something that i never choose
but at the same time something i don’t wanna lose
and never wanna be without ever again

You’re the best thing i never knew i needed
so when you were here i had no idea
you’re the best thing i never knew i needed
so now it’s so clear i need you here always

My accidental happily
(ever after)
the way you smile and how you comfort me
(with your laughter)
i must admit you were not a part of my book
but now if you open it up and take a look
you’re the beginning and the end of every chapter

You’re the best thing i never knew i needed
so when you were here i had no idea
you’re the best thing i never knew i needed
so now it’s so clear i need you here always

Who’d knew that i’d be here
so unexpectedly
undeniably happy
said with you right here, right here next to me

Girl you’re the..
you’re the best thing i never knew i needed
so when you were here i had no idea
you’re the best thing i never knew i needed
so now it’s so clear i need you here always

Now it’s so clear i need you here always

-----

hmmm...

apa cer?

nangis dengar lagu ni?

what is this?

help!

tell me it is not true?!

please!

i need some help here!

no!!!!

it can't be!!!!

no way!!!!

i need a tight slap!

bring me back to earth!

argh!!!

trial run

2010-02-04T11:58:00.005Z

time will bring the real end of our trial

one day they'll be no remnants

no trace, no residual feelings within ya

one day you won't remember me

your face will be the reason i smile

but i will not see what i cannot have forever

i'll always love ya, i hope you feel the same

you played me dirty, your game was so bad

you toyed with my affliction

had to fill out my prescription

found the remedy, i had to set you free

away from me

to see clearly the way that love can be

when you are not with me

i had to leave, i have to live

i turned day into night
sleep till i die a thousand times
i should have showed you
better nights better times better days
i miss you more and more

-----

harap maklum : tiada kena mengena-gena dengan si polan bernama lahanat!

mungkin ada kena-mengena dengan si polan yang lain.

hmm..

*sigh*

what the f* is happening to me?

betul ke apa yang aku rasa ni?

oi perasaan, jangan lah main-main.

tak larat tau!

tambahan pula, aku rasa si polan lebih setanding dengan si bunga mawar.

aku?

rafflesia jer.

what the hell am i saying?

shut!

hmmm...

*sigh*

tak mungkin.

rain

2010-02-04T11:58:00.001Z

i like to walk in the rain,

because,

i don't want anyone to see me cry.

nak bau hujan!

2010-02-04T11:51:00.001Z

tadi hujan.

dah lama tak bau hujan.

lupa nak buka tingkap!~

dang~

bobo

2010-01-27T18:54:00.006Z

* To Akmal, at 2.45 am, tetiba jer, i remembered this.

----

Elmo : Bodoh! what the hell? bodoh sial dia tu!

Akmal : (tanpa perasaan) tak baik cakap orang bodoh, bodoh.

----

yes lah, thanks met! : )

sia-sial

2010-01-22T16:14:00.005Z

tried to post an entry. but i didn't have the guts. maybe later. just save it for now.

later~

7e moment

2010-01-19T16:48:00.003Z

Aduh pakcik, kenapa la kena duduk luar 7e tu. banyak benda pops up in my mind, mesti dia sejuk, nyamuk, mana datang luka-luka kat tangan dia, macam-macam benda. apa la sangat aku boleh buat? betul cakap anem, mana anak-anak dia? sedara mara? ish! tu yang kat tepi jalan? ni dulu ada lecturer, kitaorang panggil dia 'tok ayah'. Dia jalan pun slow jer. aduh! hati ni, tak tahan tengok. SEDIH! hati ni macam tisu kalau tengok orang-orang tua. air mata ni memang turun dengan senang lenang. i wish i could do something to help them. grrr!!!!!!!! argh! sucks to be helpless... :"(

perasaan cilanat

2010-01-18T15:37:00.002Z

aku benci perasaan ni.

malas nangis lagi.

tak guna nangis sebegini.

hati sendiri disakiti!

perasaan, tolong lah pergi,

jangan pulang selagi di kehendaki,

jika ada peluang bertemu lagi,

jangan lahanatkan pertemuan yang di nanti.

hatred!

2010-01-06T17:23:00.002Z

i hate myself!

aku benci diri sendiri!

benci! benci! benci!

bodoh!

tak pernah nak belajar dari kesilapan.

penakot!

macam mana nak jadi decision maker ni?

bonggok!

tired = me

2010-01-06T17:10:00.002Z

PENAT!!!

I'M LETHARGIC!

SERIOUSLY!

2010?

ISH!

i don't think its a very good year for me.

1st January 2010 - 12am.

sucks like hell at home.

not a very good start.

yesterday, 6th Jan...

ARGH!!!!

sampai sampai kena maki baik punya!

yay!

terbaik!

kenapa perlu rasa macam dulu balik?

mahu kan seperti sebelum ini dan bukan seperti dulu lah!

please help me!

PERGI MATI LAGI SENANG.

lagi senang bukan?

Hello 2010, Goodbye 2009!

2009-12-31T16:17:00.004Z

Hello 2010,

guess where am I right now?

I'm at home, watching Resident Evil, facebook-ing,

while cracking my head trying to express my feelings through here.

I'm thankful for still being here, breathing.

thank You!

I have no expectations this year.

its new year but i guess 2009 still hunts me.

i feel,

empty.

R.I.P The Rev

2009-12-29T11:52:00.002Z

James Owen Sullivan or better known as The Rev has left us on 28th December, 2009. He was the drummer and back-up vocalist for my favorite band Avenged Sevenfold. I'm seriously devastated right now. I can't help to cry while listening to their songs especially "Critical Acclaim". ARGHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was singing to that song this evening. WTF?! I can't believe that he is gone. The Rev has this unique voice whenever he sang as back-up for M. Shadows. i'm lost in words. i'm so sad right now. can't believe that he is gone. i didn't have the chance to see him perform live.

dear jimmy, rest in peace.

thanks for making great music.

i miss you already!

rindu!

2009-12-10T16:08:00.009Z

boleh tak, i miss garfield okay. i think i hugged him about 20 minutes or so. nak lepas rindu! rindu garfield!

kakak loves you, garfield. even though i always bully you, i love you fatty! walaupun kadang-kadang rasa jeles dengan garfield sebab mum and dad gives you more attention , instead of me. but garfield, if only u knew, how much i love you. when im upset, or when im crying, u're always there, laga-laga kepala, kisses my cheeks and at times you even place your paws on my face as though you wanted to wipe off my tears. it was like you know that im sad. bukan kakak saja *pap* *pap* on your butt, its just that kakak geram jer tengok badan garfield macam tu. comel sangat! garfield, garfield tak pernah kecewa kan kakak bila kakak ajak amek gambar. how am i going to live without you? ish sorry kakak nangis masa type ni. kakak sedih kalau garfield tak ada. now you're sitting right next to me waiting for me to feed you, your favourite treat. i know. i love you sayang!

-------------

i've always been true,

i've waited so long just to come hold you
i'm making it through,

it's been far too long, we've proven our
love over time’s so true, in all that we do
the stars in the night, they lend me their light
To bring me closer to you

Happy birthday Cali

2009-12-10T16:08:00.001Z

Cali, happy birthday!!! :D

i won't see you tonight part II

2009-12-02T16:30:00.002Z

cry alone. i've gone away.

no more nights, no more pain.

i've gone alone, took all my strength,

i've made the change.

i won't see you tonight.

sorrow, sank deep inside my blood.

its building up inside of me

a place so dark so cold, i had to set me free.

don't mourn for me.

so far away, im gone.

please don't follow me tonight,

and while im gone,

everything will be alright.

--------

di mana aku nak mengadu nasib aku?

ish!

orang lain pun ada banyak masalah,

tak kan aku nak tambah masalah aku kat diorang.

gila!

nyesal. menyesal bagi tahu.

bodoh!

lain kali tak perlu bagitahu apa-apa.

kan dah pandai pura-pura gembira

nak nangis pun tak boleh,

nangis sekarang! sekarang! sekarang!

cuba esok jer lah.

sedihnya!

siapa nak back up aku?

kau boleh la, ada back up.

aku ada?

tak ada kan.

kat mana nak order 'tempat mengadu' large satu?

atau

orang ke yang boleh back up aku,

boleh?

aku sumpah, aku tak nak bagitau apa-apa dah lepas ni.

menyusahkan, kan?

aku sendiri yang cari masalah.

bodoh!

ish!

biar lah aku dengan diri aku lepas ni.

kalau tak kesah,

tak perlu lah nak ambik tahu pasal aku.

okay?

Happy birthday teejah!!!!!

2009-12-02T02:46:00.002Z

dear kate,

happy birthday!!

Love you!!!!

aku malu

2009-11-25T17:18:00.000Z

Aku malu,

Kau tak kan paham kenapa,

Aku malu,

Kau boleh cakap senang sebab kau tak tahu kenapa,

Aku malu,

Kau tak akan tahu kenapa,

Aku malu,

Kau tak dapat rasa apa yang aku rasa sebab tu,

Aku malu,

Perkara yang berlaku, sebelum dan sekarang buat,

Aku malu,

Susah nak bagitahu macam mana,

Aku malu,

Nak bagi kau paham kenapa,

Aku malu,

Pun susah, sebab tu,

Aku malu,

Tolong lah paham!

Aku ni pemalu.

pergi

2009-11-25T14:43:00.002Z

mahu pergi jauh

dan

tak kembali!

hari ni sekali lagi, aku rasa shitty gila.

kenapa Tuhan tak ragut jer nyawa aku?

kan senang?

tak perlu nak menyusahkan orang lain.

benci nya keadaan ni.

aku mahu pergi jauh!

dan

tidak mahu kembali!

jangan terkejut,

kalau aku tiba-tiba 'M.I.A' satu hari nanti.

bila?

kita nanti kan lah.

memang aku keras kepala.

kalau aku nak,

aku angkat kaki jer, terus pergi.

jangan lah masa tu cuba nak cari.

memang aku tak kan layan.

sorry!

tu jer aku boleh cakap.

truth

2009-11-11T19:05:00.001Z

the truth is out there.

*hehhe*

nak tergelak, sebab semua rahsia dah dibongkarkan.

aku tahu!

siapa kamu!

pergi mati cepat!

Bilik Ahmad Berdaki

2009-11-07T17:42:00.006Z

I went to KLPac with Charlie & Mamet for 'Bilik Ahmad Berdaki' play. it was good. very sensual. *LOL* told mamet, the play makes me horny. *ahhahah* I had a good time! food doesn't suck that bad anymore! anyway (charlie is not going to like this) *ehhehe* cannot lupa that person who said "good night" :)

P/s: on my way back, i found my song. its by Splender (not spender) - i think god can explain.

There's a lot of things I understand,
and there's a lot of things,
That I don't want to know.

But you're the only face,
I recognize, It's so damn sweet of you,
to look me in the eyes.

It's all right, I'm O.K.,
I think God can explain,
I believe I’m the same,
I get carried away
It's alright, I'm O.K.,
I think God can explain
I'm relieved, I'm relaxed,
I'll get over it yet.

The scent of vaseline,
in the summertime,
the feel of an ice cube,
melting over time,
Well the world seems bigger than both of us,
yet it seems so small,
when I begin to cry.

It's all right, I'm O.K.,
I think God can explain,
I believe I’m the same,
I get carried away
It's alright, I'm O.K.,
I think God can explain
I'm relieved, I'm relaxed,
I'll get over it yet,

It's all right, I'm O.K.,
I think God can explain,
I believe I’m the same,
I get carried away
It's alright, I'm O.K.,
I think God can explain
I'm relieved, I'm relaxed,
I'll get off of your back,

I think God can explain.
I think God can explain.
I think God can explain.

Touch 'n Go

2009-11-07T06:54:00.003Z

okay seriously, i didn't know the card 'touch 'n go can pay for food as well. i only thought for toll and parking. hebat hebat! banyak pulak tu, so kalau tak ada duit, guna touch and go sudah. *LMAO!*

hi!

2009-11-06T13:50:00.003Z

hi!

its me again.

another entry.

by,

yours truly.

tolong bawa aku pergi jauh dari sini!

its going to be another long night.

BENCI!

wow

2009-11-06T11:21:00.002Z

wow!

i manage to update 6 entries in one day.

funny!

normally, only once a month.

taniah!

no idea

2009-11-06T11:08:00.002Z

met kate just now, had sushi. *ehehe* sushi king blacked out. funny! but we stayed on while other customers decided to ditch sushi king. i couldn't really eat, lost my appetite. every time i try to swallow something, its like swallowing death. sangat tertekan. memang tak lalu, rasa bila telan something tu susah sangat! but i was quite happy to get my toffee nut frappucino, my favourite drink only available during this time of the year. Argh! anyway perasaan ini sangat shitty. i hate this feeling. why should i even bother about this stupid feeling? i want to go somewhere. i should get out of the house. but where to? shht! i can't even shed a tear. stupid me. i think i need to cry now. make me cry!

trouble sleeping

2009-11-06T04:50:00.003Z

i tried to get some sleep around 7 something this morning. it was terrible. every time i tried to shut my eyes, his images pops up. i twist and turn, on the tv. still nothing happen. tried to think of happy thoughts. *kapeesh* nothing. still can't sleep. then i remembered dr.subra told us in the class, to have a good sleep is to chant mantra, so what i did was, i started to chant my own way of mantra, which is surah-surah from the Quran. i felt at peace and i didn't even realize that i'd fallen asleep.

grrr!

2009-11-05T21:25:00.002Z

its the most longest and horrible night ever. i can't sleep. i can't even shut my eyes. though i'd deleted most of him, but the memories of him kept running through my mind. its only 3 years of memories, come on. not even 10. i'll survive this. "he is nothing to you. you dumped him, remember?" keep telling myself this. but still i can't sleep! shht! i think i need like sleeping pills or something, so that i can sleep peacefully. please please please! or better yet, do something to keep my mind occupied. thats right. okay im going to play games on facebook now! toodles!

Glad

2009-11-05T16:10:00.002Z

im glad its over. i feel so relief. don't worry.

im okay.

thanks for your concern.

it has been a roller coaster ride. im glad its over.

the funny thing is, im not sad at all. im happy!

will i shed my tears again?

burn MF burn!

2009-11-03T17:55:00.003Z

you're in my burn book! don't worry : )

aku benci opportunist!

pergi mampos.

sekian terima kasih.

Aussie education fair - Accomplished.

2009-10-25T17:21:00.003Z

On saturday, Kate and I went to KL Convention center to check out the Australian Education fair. It was fun, got to talk to a few of people regarding my plans to do masters. don't want to get all excited about it. takot sat lagi tak jadi. tu pun mak & ayah still nak consider UK or Aussie. so we will see. my weekend was quite fun, saturday night, went to mat's house for BBQ (mat's sister's convo + post raya + abg's birthday surprise) and the next day went to delicious, bangsar for lunch with kate, mum and her friends. the food was delish, as always! I like! Had the strawberry and meringue, its damn nice! after walking around for a bit, asked mum to buy me something, send kate home, and went back home. dooze off in mum's room. and now i can't sleep! aargh! thank God class is at 12pm today. I think I should try and get some shut eye. Toodles!

despise

2009-10-23T17:18:00.004+01:00

seriously. im no body to you. why should i even bother to be around you. im not part of your world, and never have been. you don't even care if im not there. i'd said this before, remember when you didn't invite me, i was devastated. but i change my mind. seriously. no need to invite me anymore. its not healthy for me to be around in your world. i don't even belong there. im just someone you know. i am nothing to you. im like a piece of rock, sitting there, quietly, staring at everyone around me, trying to find a way to voice out against those noises. the only sound that came out of me, is when provoked. you're there, not knowing anything about me. i hate you for that. i should have avoid this years ago, but im trying my best to slip away slowly, no one will ever notice that im gone. i promise you that. you and your world and its time for me to live in mine.

happy!

2009-10-15T09:52:00.001+01:00

OMG!

I'm officially an aunt.

I'm so happy!

Alhamdulillah.

Congrats abang & fatin!

hujan

2009-10-13T18:54:00.002+01:00

damn it. dah la tengah sedih-sedih, hujan lebat pulak! tak perlu la nak tambah kesedihan kan

:(

anyway, before i forget,

mum,

happy birthday!

jangan cepat melatah, bukan besar kepala, tapi nak pancing reaksi.

2009-10-13T17:37:00.004+01:00

in my shoes, just to see
what it's like, to be me
i'll be you, let's trade shoes
just to see what it'd be like to
feel your pain, you feel mine
go inside each other's minds
just to see what we find
looking shit through each other's eyes

I just hide behind the tears of a clown.

aku patutnya bergembira. tapi aku rasa sebaliknya. what ever i do, i can never be good enough for myself. bodoh! tak perlu la aku nak nangis sekarang. buang masa naimah! takde orang kesah! Kelakar bila orang cepat melatah, dan secara tidak sengaja jawapan jujur diterima. Funny. (melatah di sini, bukan dicucuk atau dikejutkan) ahh. dengan reaksi tu, aku dah dapat tau aku ni memang tak cukup bagus untuk apa-apa. i can never be good enough. im a big disappointment to myself, my family and my friends. kadang-kadang aku tanya pada Tuhan kenapa aku jadi begini. aku tak tuduh sesiapa, sebab aku tau, semua benda yang jadi pada diri aku ni, semua dah tertulis and i know things happen for a reason. tapi kenapa aku rasa sangat shitty. i need someone to pull me out from this freaking shit! semua orang selalu pandang rendah kat aku, sebab tu susah untuk aku cakap "i believe in myself" memang susah. dari dulu, sampai sekarang. trust me, aku pun tak tau macam mana aku boleh sampai kat mana aku sekarang. kalau orang tak jujur percaya pada aku, macam mana la aku nak percaya diri sendiri. argh! malasnya nak layan perasaan ni. happiness please come back!!!! i should be happy, i don't want to cry anymore.

before i was sad and depressed, pouty always. there was a smile on my face, even though it might be fake. could've ended my life but i stayed strong, and prayed for a better day. i just wish joy and happiness would never stray, so that sorrow would go away.

byebye sorrowness, hello happiness!

shocked

2009-10-10T20:28:00.002+01:00

the house alarm triggered just now.

terkejut sebentar.

dalam diam, ikot ayah turun.

ayah pegang kayu golf, aku pegang parang buatan sarawak.

rasa macam ...

nak perang

kelakar pun ada

damn it

tak ada apa-apa.

haziq go die

2009-10-10T19:42:00.002+01:00

I HATE HAZIQ!

tolong jangan tanya kenapa? sakit hati sangat!

family gath

2009-10-04T05:50:00.001+01:00

Kak la & family, abg remy & family, abang, fatin and maktok was here yesterday. ada makan-makan sikit. jumpa keita, cute sangat "minum, minum, minum". *ehhehe*

Congrats Epah & Sham!

2009-10-01T18:26:00.012+01:00

Nikah 26092009

At about 3.05 pm on 26.09.2009, Alifah, or better known as Epah, was offcially married to Shamhan. She is the first ‘AKU’ to get married. I’m so happy for her. Congrats to both of you. We had fun in Kuching. It was fun traveling with my friends. We stayed at Tune Hotel. Not bad for a 4 days and 3 nights. Only cost me and anem, RM250. We also rented a car, easier for us to move around. We helped Epah with the wedding and had the opportunity to pusing-pusing in Kuching. It was fun except the part where I had to naik the penambang. It was the worst 30 seconds and 1 minute of my life. I felt like vomiting. Anyway, I survived as I’m still here today and updating this blog. Thank God for that. There will be another reception for Sham’s side this Sunday at Dewan Perdana Felda. I can’t wait, if I can still remember, Epah said there will be tapai for dessert. *yummy! LOL* So, one down, 3 more to go. I wonder who is next in line. Anyway, CONGRATS AGAIN EPAH & SHAM. Semoga berbahagia selamanya! Love Love!

"Disatukan jiwa, bersama merasa"

Jaja & Dalila

2009-09-28T11:15:00.001+01:00

Happy 23rd Birthday to Aizah & Dalila!

Love you darlings!

:)

beyonce - here we come!

2009-09-23T09:21:00.002+01:00

told you, she wants to tag along. well she bought the tickets :)

thanks mum!!!

happy!

beyonce coming to town

2009-09-23T07:32:00.003+01:00

Im going to ask mum to buy me tickets for beyonce's concert!! i'm not surprised if she wants to tag along :)

raya

2009-09-23T07:10:00.003+01:00

I went back to Batu Gajah with my parents this year. We stayed at Casurina, Ipoh. *thehehe* sangat meriah la kan duduk kat hotel. Apa raaa! well most of the time, we were at Abah's place. Pagi-pagi lagi budak-budak dah datang beraya. Trend sekarang ni mana ada dah datang makan kuih raya, mintak duit raya, pastu terus lari. gila! Anyway, I'm back in KL. tak sempat nak beraya at Kate's house in Perak also. I was a bit upset with my uncle and aunty. They came down to KL, and they forgot about me. Kak su got duit raya, and nothing for me. *ahhahaha* whatever. anyway, just wanna share with you, i got rm1 duit raya. *heheheh* first time ever! economy crisis i think. anyway, better than nothing. atleast i can buy some sweets or chewing gum :) positive thinking yawl. this is will be my last chance to get duit raya, next year mana boleh dapat dah. *LOL* yay!!!!! I can't wait to go to Sarawak! yahoo!!! lagi berapa hari jer Epah will be wed. that reminds me, i need to charge my bloody battery yang dah kong tu and pack my bags. Toodles!

misc

2009-09-20T10:54:00.002+01:00

I was hanging out at my brother's place after the potluck. it was quite late. i received a message from my mum;

Mummy : "Cinderelli, you have passed your midnight,
love, your fairy mother"

wth?

i had a good laugh and went home.

raya is here again

2009-09-20T10:46:00.002+01:00

SELAMAT HARI RAYA! In my most noble honor please forgive anything in the past. May Allah bless all of you :)

20092009

not bad

2009-09-17T17:55:00.002+01:00

yahoo!!! tahun ni, 2 hari jer kena ganti puasa :) tu pun sebab beri-beri. kalau tak mesti puasa penuh. *LOL* okay lor, i want to sleep! not enough sleep! Later~

disturbing

2009-09-17T17:43:00.003+01:00

just can't help thinking about what she did.
she.
i can't believe it.
she, her own friend.
im sad.
honestly.
satu hari aku memikirkan benda ni.
aku kesian kat kawan dia, kawan aku jugak.
tah la.
susah kalau orang pandai manipulate kepala orang lain.
kawan, bersabarlah.
kau tak kan tahu disebalik cerita ini.
aku minta maaf.
kita sama di dalam hal ini,
kita sebenarnya tak sangka dan tak tahu kenapa dia jadi sebegitu.

she.

is not the same person, i used to know

:(

buntat

2009-09-16T21:17:00.002+01:00

yes. exactly. makan makan makan. buntat = happy! suka main bunga api, tapi kalau mercun, mula terkejut sampai nak terkeluar jantung. semua berjalan dengan lancar tadi, alhamdulillah. Thanks for those who came and brought food and drinks :) ilapchu! I should be sleeping, gotta wake up early, nak pi rumah maktok. Toodles~

p/s : "its funny how it takes a few years to know the real somebody. all this while, i thought that person was different but i guess i was wrong. that person proved me wrong"

- kita tak boleh percaya awak dah. tak sangka awak boleh buat macam tu dekat kawan awak sendiri (bukan kita, tapi orang lain). kalau awak boleh buat macam tu kat kawan awak sendiri, mesti kat kita pun awak boleh buat. kita terkejut! seryes. eh jap! awak dah buat macam tu kat kita. *hihihi* kita lupa la, wak. kita okay jer. tak kesah pun. tapi kita kesian kat kawan awak tu. kita takpe lah, dah memang orang pandang pun jahat jer, tapi awak? imej awak kan budak baik, tak sama macam kita, lain. eeee tak sangka lah awak macam tu, awak macam pakai topeng baik. plastik sangat. kita seryes ingat awak lain, tapi sedih lah, awak sama jer. awak sama jer. awak sama jer. - aju

sweet tooth

2009-09-15T15:53:00.002+01:00

Aha! I finally did it. I made my first ice cream cake today. It is yummy even though itmelted abit :) *yummy!* It is now in the freezer, can't wait until tomorrow and I also bought a ready made butterscotch syrup to go with the ice cream cake. Tak sabarnya nak try. Anyway, we're having a potluck at Abang's tomorrow. I heard so many are people coming and I thought this event just kecik-kecik only. *LOL* I'm going to make my usual potato salad. I hope it will turn out okay this round. The other time, it was more like mash potato, but surpisingly, habis, licin and kena make some more :) okay lah, tired, jalan-jalan cari barang-barang nak masak and everything tadi. + bukak puasa with my sis, Kate, comel sangat. first time jumpa dia with tudung. So sweet! okay lah. Toodles!

out

2009-09-11T04:18:00.003+01:00

"she doesn't aspect him to like her. who the hell is she anyway? she is no body to him but don't be surprise if she and he doesn't get along very well"

:)

Dah call sekolah-sekolah tu, yay! selesai dah kerja.

Wanna go out and have some fun!

Toodles!~

Call for me please!

2009-09-10T17:20:00.003+01:00

Tolong call kan sekolah-sekolah tu boleh? Grrrrr

dang~

I need coffee!

Noticed

2009-09-10T16:55:00.002+01:00

I noticed that person doesn't want to be around whenever I'm there. If I'm not there, that person will be there. I guess that person does not like me, even though other person tries to make that person go. Like one incident where, forget it! Not just one, I've lost count already. It is just too bad that other person can't see the fact that, that person does not like me.

09.09.09

2009-09-08T19:38:00.003+01:00

Hello 09.09.09 !

Geez!~

2009-09-07T16:21:00.002+01:00

Hello! I have so many things to do in a limited time, and yet I still can find time to play 'Sorority Life.' I wish the time would just freeze for a moment and let my soul runs free. *sigh* Another sleepless night I presume. I have midterm at 10am tomorrow. I better go and finish off my report. Later~

Its Friday and Im in UIA

2009-09-04T06:39:00.007+01:00

I'm here! surprise! *LOL* Mamet and I went to see Dr.Subraji to collect the cohesive links list. Then on our way back, we bump into Dr.Haja, he told us that he had watched the theater. The funny thing is he remembered my part and my one particular line. So sweet of him :) anyway, now I'm in my room, very sleepy. I want to sleep for awhile. Later I'll go back home. Toodles!~

----

Elmo : Babi, sial, stupid, mother F!!!

Mamet : Ish hang ni ema, astaghfirlahhulazim. Mulut macam celaka.

Elmo : ?????

Malas Please Go Away

2009-09-02T18:52:00.006+01:00

Mamet and I went to JJ at Au2 today. Berbuka at Black Canyon *forgot the spelling* again. The food sedap jugak lah, kena dengan my taste. I bought wrapping papers for my table. It is so yummy! Okay, need to do semantics and sleep. Toodles!~

My table :)

Sangat yummy!

Macam mana nak study ni? *Hehehe*

Rindu dia!

Obsessed

2009-08-28T21:09:00.002+01:00

Obsesi! I want a new cage for my babies. Grrr!